I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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