I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Let's get the cat blown out
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
