You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
