You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
