I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize