How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
do herpes really smell.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
