hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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