You're a womanizer and a bitch.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
