Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
