To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize