I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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