i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
