I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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