"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Randomize
