bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
