I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
