new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
