Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
