Im at strip club and am horny
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Randomize
