We're facebook friends in real life
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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