sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
