just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
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