He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
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