i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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