where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
