My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
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