you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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