Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
