Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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