I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
