We're like a lot better than the average bears
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
