Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
