You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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