My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Randomize
