party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
