if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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