he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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