just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
My breasts were aching with rage.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
