I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i permit you to call me
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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