His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
