somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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