apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
