The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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