Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
