Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
