I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
