Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
