My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
