Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Randomize
