ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize