I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
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