you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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