I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
