At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
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