omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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