It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
