Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
