You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Randomize
