Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
