hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize