dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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