So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
You pole danced in your parka.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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