One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
