Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
